Tim Breaseale

Here is write-up of an interview I gave earlier this year (Feb.2010).  I was interviewed to describe a transformative experience in my life.  This type of transformation is considered a candle model transformative experience.  It brought back some good memories and feelings.  I hope you enjoy.

This interviewer interviewed a photographer for an in-the-moment, Candle Model type of transformational experience interview. The photographer is a 37 year-old male who has lived most of his life in Alabama. He described the experience that made him realize that he wanted to be a professional photographer.

“I graduated from high school and there were two options for me—either get a job and move out of my parent’s house, or continue my education and go to college. I decided to go to college. I went to a junior college for the first two years on a jazz band scholarship, then went to a university after. I didn’t know what I was going to major in. I took all of my required core courses and wanted to see what appealed to me. I liked to draw, but I had never taken art classes. I took a drawing class and I really enjoyed it. I took a second drawing class and thought maybe I would want to major in art. When I transferred to [Jacksonville State University], not all of my classes transferred over from [the junior college] and I had to take classes over, but my art classes transferred. I was undecided for my first three years [as an undergraduate].

I took a commercial design class and decided to major in art and commercial design. I took my required courses for the art major, like art history, but also needed electives. I decided to take a photography class. I really enjoyed photography. I picked it up so much faster than anything else; it was easier and just came to me. In ordinary life, you see things in front of you at your eye level, and you see things from day-to-day the same way. It can be very boring. I liked that with photography, you can see things from different angles and different perspectives—ordinary things can come alive. I really enjoyed that. Every time I was taking pictures, I was getting better and better. In my classes, we would critique each other’s work, and I always got positive critiques. My professor always had positive feedback for me.

[My transformational experience] was when I first developed a picture in the darkroom. It was then that I knew that I wanted to be a professional photographer. It was amazing, to take a plain piece of paper and transform it into a tangible picture. The image comes alive all at once and appears in front of you. It was then that I was hooked. It was amazing, the process of photography, from capturing an image to printing the image. Printing my own pictures made it more personal and satisfying to me. I wasn’t just taking pictures and dropping the film off at Wal-Mart to be printed; instead, I was involved in the process. The process is just amazing. Film photography is an art form. Also, when you develop film, you get to know the smell of the chemicals [and the artistry behind developing it]. Talking about all of this makes me want to get out my [film] camera and take some pictures! The problem is that with the popularity of digital photography, film and the developing chemicals are so much more expensive now. I don’t even know if they’ll ship the chemicals anymore. When I was in college and started taking my photography classes, my uncle gave me all of his old equipment. He was into photography when he was in high school and college, and he sent me all of his equipment. I was able to set up my own darkroom in my closet in the apartment where I lived. I don’t miss the smelly, messy chemicals, but I miss having that process and having the image appear all at once. With digital photography, the image prints line-by-line on a printer.

After that first experience in the darkroom, I realized I wanted to concentrate on photography and commercial design, I thought those two would work well together. I wanted to be a professional photographer. My professor, who was the director of the department, said that as a photographer, you can make as much as you want in the field. He also said that people were the hardest subjects to work with, that they don’t always do what you want them to do and don’t always cooperate. I think it’s easy to work with people and I am good at it. I feel like I fill a niche, because I am good at working with people in their environments.”

The interviewee’s experience exemplifies the Candle Model of transformational experience because his first encounter developing film in the darkroom “lit” him up inside and aroused a passion and wonder for the process of photography.  He previously enjoyed the technical and creative aspects of photography, and this new experience solidified a passion for, an awareness of, and desire to declare photography as the primary pursuit in his educational and professional endeavors.  He currently solely works with digital photography.  The feelings of this experience have lasted, so much so that merely talking about it again inspired a desire to work with and develop film photography again.